7 mins read

Bonanza of God’s Billboards

Once upon a time, Americans traveled the highways searching for the latest word of God. But not anymore! Those same roadside messages, plus a batch of new ones, can now be viewed anytime at home on your own personal computer. Google currently lists nine sites carrying these “messages from God.”

Do you remember the original billboards? Someone in Florida started the ball rolling with eighteen messages in white type on black billboards all “signed” by God.

South Florida motorists spotted such disarming “quotes” as:

* Let’s meet at my house before the game. -God

* C’mon over and bring the kids. -God

Others messages spoke in a friendly but more serious tone:

* What part of “Thou Shall Not …” didn’t you understand? -God

* That “Love Thy Neighbor” thing … I meant that. -God

Now the messages have gone from billboards to cyberspace. A couple of sites include the original eighteen sayings as well as a good number of new messages. Evidently, God keeps coming up with new ones. Hey, the graphics are great! Check them out! Just plug “God’s Billboards” in Google and click on the top sites.

Like the originals, these new “quotes” vary from witty to thought-provoking. For instance:

* All I know … is everything. -God

* If you must curse, use your own name! -God

* The real Supreme Court meets up here. -God

As a public service (or disservice depending on how you look at it), I’ve rounded up the whole lot of God’s Bilboard messages for your edification. If I have missed one, let me know.

Let’s meet at my house Sunday before the game. -God

C’mon over and bring the kids. -God

What part of “Thou Shalt Not…” didn’t you understand? -God

We need to talk. -God

Keep using my name in vain, I’ll make rush hour longer. -God

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. -God

That “Love Thy Neighbor” thing… I meant it. -God

I love you and you and you and you and… -God

Will the road you’re on get you to my place? -God

Follow me. -God

Big bang theory, you’ve got to be kidding. -God

My way is the highway. -God

Need directions? -God

You think it’s hot here? -God

Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test. -God

Do you have any idea where you’re going? -God

Don’t make me come down there. -God

In Eternity…do you want the smoking or non-smoking section? -God

Small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life. Need directions? -God

When I was hungry, did you give me something to eat? -God

When I was thirsty, did you give me something to drink? -God

When I was a stranger, did you invite me in? -God

When I needed clothing, did you clothe me? -God

When I was sick and in prison, did you look after me? -God

Words count; be careful, I’m listening. -God

Make up your mind; is Jesus a lunatic, a liar, or my only begotten Son? -God

Your soul is eternal; where are you taking it? -God

Of course I love you, I gave you my Son, didn’t I? -God

Read my New Testament. I’ve included a message for you. -God

No, belief and baptism are not options. -God

What part of “Thou Shalt Not…” didn’t you understand? -God

We need to talk. -God

If I didn’t exist, there would be no atheists. -God

No, I didn’t give you certainty, faith is required. -God

Follow me. -God

That “Love Thy Neighbor” thing… I meant it. -God

Eternity is a long, long, l-o-n-g time. -God

You just think it’s hot here. -God

The only important thing about Christianity is that it’s true. -God

Do not murder. -God

Don’t wait for the final judgment. It takes place every day. -God

Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction. Don’t follow the crowd. -God

Come, follow me. -God

Would you give up your life to perpetuate a hoax? Neither would Stephen, James, Peter, or Paul. -God

Love your neighbor as yourself. -God

You are not an accident. I have a purpose for you. -God

Sin is addictive; the terminal point of addiction is damnation. -God

What’s in your future? Read all about it in my #1 bestseller. -God

Some seed fell along the path, some fell on rock, other seed fell among thorns, still other seed fell on good soil. Which are you? -God

You are very important to me. My Son paid for you with his life. -God

I didn’t promise you a picnic; I promised you a cross to bear. -God

Words matter. I hear ever careless word you say. -God

When nations stop honoring me, I stop blessing them. -God

If life doesn’t teach you humility, you’re just not paying attention. -God

If you created yourself, obey your own law; if I created you, obey me. -God

Do not steal. -God

Do not commit adultery. -God

Do not give false testimony. -God

Honor your father and mother. -God

Work as though it all depends on you; pray as though it all depends on me. -God

I won’t allow temptation beyond what you can bear. -God

Use the Scriptures to verify what you hear. -God

Faith is required, but not blind faith. Search for the evidence. -God

Who do you serve? yourself? or me? -God

Blind guides speak from the pulpit too. -God

Hate and lust will destroy you. -God

If you don’t control your thoughts, who does? -God

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. -God

Whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. -God

Evolution is the mythology of fools. -God

Worship is not entertainment; entertainment is not worship. -God

Follow me, not man-made traditions. -God

What ever happened to the church BONANZAJP  I established? -God

My word is sufficient. Beware of those who add to it or subtract from it. -God

Faith without deeds is useless. -God

Forgive others, and I will forgive you. -God

Either stand with me or stand with the world. Neutrality is not an option. -God

You cannot serve both God and Money. -God

Do you love me? Keep my commandments. -God

Why do you call Me Lord, Lord and do not the things I say? -God

Heaven or Hell, it’s your choice. -God

Say, wouldn’t they make great church marquee messages? Many of them are direct quotes from the Bible. Show them to your your church, and see what they think. Or maybe, (Yeah, I know it’s a radical idea.) maybe we ought to take them to heart.


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